Spiritual Journal Set #7

Entry A - Topic of my choosing - The notion of "glory"

            Sometimes I find myself saying and believing something that I know barely anything about.  For instance, when I ask myself, "What do you live for?” my automatic response is usually "I live for the glory of God."  Frankly, I got that answer from some scriptures and many sermons, and I realize that I don't really understand the concept of God's glory.  I know what glory is.  Its synonyms would be honor, fame, recognition, and praise. And the opposite of glory would be shame.  But what is the glory of God that our ancestors of faith boldly lived their lives for, regardless of jarring persecutions and unpleasant deaths? Isn't it what we feel when we lift up our hands while singing worship songs? Why did they choose such radical and dangerous ways to "glorify" God? As a Christian, I believe understanding this notion of glorifying God is extremely pivotal, as it is the ultimate purpose of human life.  We are made for God’s eternal glory.

            First of all, in order to glorify God, we must recognize who God is and who we are in accord with the premises we hold about God.  God is the Creator and we are His creation.  God is our Lord the King and we are His servants.  God is our heavenly Father and we are His children.  We were once His enemies, but now by God's grace which was demonstrated through the life of Christ, we are His friends. We deserved nothing from God but He gave us everything, even His Son.  We ought to love God because He first loved us.  God desires to be worshiped, praised, and acknowledged as the LORD and Savior by His people.  This is the reason why we say that we live to give glory to God; we give him all the credit and acclaim that is due to Him.

            However, I realized that the concept of glory is much deeper and mysterious than mere recognition and praise.  In Greek, the word for glory is "doxa" and it has some interesting connotations: an especially divine quality, the unspoken manifestation of God, and splendor.  In the Bible, the illustration of God's glory usually appears as light.  For example, when Moses came down from Mountain Sinai after encountering God, the Israelites saw the radiant glow of his face.  Also, during the transfiguration, Peter and two other disciples witnessed Jesus' face shining like the sun and his clothes as white as light.  Furthermore, in the book of Revelation, it says when the New Jerusalem arrives; the glory of God will illuminate the city and the Lamb will be its light.  Personally, I love to comprehend the glory of God as the manifestation of Himself.  Though we may not see Him directly, He marvelously reveals Himself to us through the creation of nature, numerous circumstances, and His unchanging truth. 

            In fact, 2 Corinthians 3:18 says, "So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord.  And the Lord-who is the Spirit-makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image."  The Spirit of God unveils our eyes to see His glory.  Not only do we see it, but we also reflect it.   Moreover, God transforms us into the glorious image of Christ. We are not just suppliers of glory to God, but also bearers of it.  The Holy Spirit dwells in us and enables us to shine His light through us.  When His glorious presence fills us and permeates through every aspect of our lives, we become like Christ who is the Light.  I think this is one of the evidence for calling us " children of the Light" in 1 Thessalonians 5:5.

            I still feel insufficient in my understanding of this complex concept of glory even after this discovery.  However, I am immensely grateful for this knowledge that enables me to acknowledge the purpose of life and to strive for a further understanding and achieving of the purpose.  I just want to give glory to Him who deserves all of me though it's nothing compared to what He offered to me.  Also, I desire to reflect His heavenly radiance while being transformed to be more like Jesus.  It is such a privilege to live and invest our work for the eternal Kingdom instead of wasting our lives building an earthly kingdom, which will perish eventually.

Spiritual Journal Set #6

Entry A - Outside reading - The person and the work of the Holy Spirit by R.A. Torrey

            I believe that every man strives to discover truth and to live their lives according to the truth they have found.  Living in a postmodern culture where there are numerous ways of viewing the realities of God and the world, many choose to believe and follow whichever views fit their preferences the best. Christians believe that God gave them the Bible, God’s inspired word, to reveal the truth. However, even among Christians, with this tool that they regard as the source of truth, there are numerous divisions and contentions.

            For instance, one of the greatest controversies in the Christian realm is Calvinism vs. Arminianism. Calvinists believe that the omniscient God has already destined who is going to be saved and who is not.  On the other hand, Arminianists believe that God gave people freedom to choose their destiny by living their lives for Him or for themselves. In addition, there is a controversy between people who believe in the young earth and the old earth.  Some think that God created the heavens and the earth in a literal seven days whereas others believe that the seven days in Scripture need to be interpreted figuratively. In fact, there are numerous other cases that Christians disagree on. Thousands of denominations illustrate this serious theological division among the believers of the Bible. How is it possible for the people who claim to know the truth and even are willing to give up their own lives for holding their beliefs to be divided in such a dramatic way?

            In fact, reading the gospel of John 16:13 made me even more bewildered. It says, "When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth."  If Christians are guided and influenced by the Spirit of God, how is it possible for them to have polarized views on so many issues?  Does this mean some are led by the Spirit of truth and others are misled by the spirit of false truth? The Scripture says the Spirit will guide us to all truth, not some truth. It sounds like we must come to know everything if the Spirit accompanies us. Doesn't it?

            Then I began questioning, "what is the truth?" Is the truth the answer to all questions? The Scripture says, "I [Jesus] am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me." I think I know who Jesus is and I regard Him as the Savior of my soul and the Son of God. But I still have so many questions. Why doesn't God reveal all the answers along with the knowledge of Christ? Am I not the bearer of the Holy Spirit? As I pondered these dangerous questions, I began to realize that the answers that I am looking for are not necessarily the truth. The truth is so much bigger and deeper than cheap yes or no responses. The truth is a new vision to view the mystery of God incarnate and the conundrum of God's plan for humanity.

            R.A. Torrey, in his book, The Person and Work of the Holy Spirit, asserts that, "To understand God's Word, we must empty ourselves utterly of our own wisdom and rest in utter dependence upon the Spirit of God to interpret it to us."  We must acknowledge that we human beings, with our flesh, are not capable of receiving the holy truth of God as it is.  Our sinful nature distorts and even decimates the truth when it enters into our inner being.  We can only rely on the Spirit of God and our new self that Christ has clothed us when He initiated His work in us in order to receive the truth and be transformed by it.

            Then I came to a realization that I was being impatient and obsessed with satisfying my curiosity, expecting God to be the way that I prefer Him to be. There are areas that God intentionally does not reveal and He will reveal them to us in His timing when we can glorify His name most effectively. I think there is a difference between asking, seeking, and knocking for the revelation of truth, and trying to fit the truth of God in the definition of truth that we have established.

            We are humans, God's creation that bears the image of God.  As creatures, we are utterly incapable of understanding God and His way fully.  I believe it is God who decides what and when to reveal about Himself and His way. There are some things that we must stand and fight for, but at the same time, there are others that we can only trust God's sovereignty and goodness for with great patience and humility.

Spiritual Journal Set #5

Entry A - Lectio Divina Exercise: Hebrews 5:7-8 (NKJV)

Who, in the days of His flesh, when He had offered up prayers and supplications, with vehement cries and tears to Him who was able to save Him from death, and was heard because of His godly fear, though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.

            Everything happens according to the sovereignty of God and the will of God. God created the heavens and the universe and causes all things to achieve His mysterious purpose. I am fully convinced that all human beings, the only entities with the capacity of freewill, are subject to this divine mechanism; therefore, we ought to seek God and His will in order to satisfy the Creator as His creation.  Jesus, the Son of Man, perfectly exemplified what it means to fulfill the will of God.  Regardless of bearing the incredible weight of God's wrath towards the sins of man, He intensely wrestled with His humanity and finally surrendered it to the will of the Father who sent Him to the earth.  His prayer on Mount Gethsemane is rather remarkable: "Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done" (Luke 22:42).

            This beautiful and extremely delicate prayer of submission is my personal maxim that permeates my prayers. In addition, I have been a fervent believer of Romans 8:28 which says, "We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." I recently struggled with trusting in God's sovereignty and faithfulness, as one of my personal issues did not pan out according to my desirable plan.  I prayed a lot, especially Jesus' prayer I mentioned previously.  When the result was revealed to me, I immediately sought the peace of God and forced myself to believe that His will was done despite its unfavorableness. I believe God helped me with breathing and putting myself together for the next few hours, but later on, I started to wonder why God did not allow this to happen and what might have happened if my plan worked out.  I was devastated. It was extremely difficult for me to stop asking these questions and to not feed my disappointment.

            Eventually, I realized that I was angry with God and bitter towards God. This frustration began to take root in my heart and destroyed my joy and peace in Christ.  How can I ever get mad at my loving God?  I could not easily accept this reality of my heart. Then, I realized that I was missing something absolutely significant in my attitude --- Reverence for God.  In the given passage, it says God heard Jesus' prayer because of His godly fear not just because He is the Son of God. God requires such deep reverence that brings us to submission and obedience to His will just as Christ feared the Father. This absence of godly fear probably made my prayer ineffective and ultimately shook my faith intensely during the course of this hardship.

            Father, please restore godly reverence in me. Help me to understand the convoluted relationships between love and fear, mercy and justice, and mortality and eternity. You said, "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." I desire to grow mature and wiser by grasping a great sense of reverence for you.  Also, please fill me with the Holy Spirit so that I may be in perfect union with Christ. Transform my will to Your will and my prayer to Your prayer. I wholeheartedly want to fulfill your purpose in me while I am here. Please do not let my selfish desires hinder your will by any means. I need your help. Have your mercy on me, Oh God.

Spiritual Journal Set #4

Entry A - Lectio Divina Exercise: 2 Timothy 3:1-5 (NIV)

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

            In his second letter to Timothy, Paul describes people in the last days with a long list of worldly fruit as their characteristics. He mentions all sorts of sins such as selfishness, pride, greed, love for money, and et cetera. As I read, I felt literally nothing, as I was very familiar with these bad things.  However, when I reached the verse 5, which says, "having a form of godliness but denying its power", I realized that Paul was talking about Christians in the last days, not people living in darkness.  Then I read the passage once again as though I was looking at a mirror. The Spirit convicted me for taking part to some degree in pretty much every attribute of ungodliness.  Most significantly, I felt striking conviction with Verse five.  I believe I am a Christian and all my friends recognize that.  I do what a good Christian does and I tend to do more than average believers do.  I don't use foul language and I try to live a moral life. I have "a form of godliness".  But to be brutally honest, I am not sure if I really believe in the regenerating and sanctifying power of God.  I must confess that I have been trying hard to achieve godliness.  And it seemed to be working just fine.  I have prayed as much as I can, I have read the Bible everyday, and I have shared my faith with others.  But do I really believe in the power of God?

            First of all, I have been confused with the idea that God influences our determination to be devoted to Him. Thus, the actions derived from my determination are inherently genuine regardless of my feelings. I thought God's sovereignty played its role in affecting my decision to spiritual rituals.  However, by the grace of God, He exposed and rebuked my unbelief about His power that changes me and enables me to bear heavenly fruit through this Scripture. I believed His power with my mind.  I knew that God is almighty and created the universe.  But I did not believe wholeheartedly that God could change me to be more like Christ after granting me eternal salvation.  He not only revealed my hidden motives, but also helped me realize my lack of daily reliance and trust in Him by showing the miserable growth of my character and faith over the last few years. My heart broke at this moment.  It was not His fault.  It was my denial of His mighty power that has hindered the work of God in me. Soon thereafter, I became very fearful about the reality of my spirituality.  Maybe I am one of such people whom Paul told Timothy to avoid. I paused. Then I had to beg for His mercy and affirmation of my security in Him.  Through a long prayer of repentance, God reassured my faith and His workmanship in my heart.  This revelation is actually a clear evidence of His grace and love for me. From this point on, I desire to do everything with momentary dependence on the power of God and constant communication with the Spirit for it is the only way to shine the glory of God and display the validity of the Gospel through my life.

Entry B - Outside reading - The person and the work of the Holy Spirit by R.A. Torrey

Chapter X. The Indwelling Spirit fully and forever satisfying

Jesus spoke, "Whosoever drink of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst, but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life."  Torrey depicts the Holy Spirit dwelling in His people as a well of living water that quenches our spiritual thirst forever.  Having this fountain of everlasting life, we receive not only eternal salvation but also true satisfaction and pleasure that is boundless and eternally effective.  It enables us to be independent from earthly circumstances.  Most importantly, the accessibility of this incredible source should blow our minds; the Holy Spirit lives in us all the time wherever we go. This lesson challenges my reliance on earthly activities for any kind of pleasures.  I have been relying on fellowship, music, different means of entertainment, and even worshipful concerts! But guess what!  I do not need to do that anymore. I do not necessarily need to seek opportunities for acquiring joy and affirmation. The source of unending joy and perfect satisfaction is actually in me.  I thank God for this amazing gift and role of the Holy Spirit in whom I find joy and pleasures that this world cannot offer. Praise the Lord!

Spiritual Journal Set #3

Lectio Divina Exercise #2

"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls." -- 1 Peter 1:6-9 (NLT)

            I believe God is the Author and Perfector of faith.  We cannot initiate faith by trying to believe in something.  The kind of faith that is generated by man's attempt will easily fail and die out eventually just like a building built on sinking sand.  Faith in the Bible is divine, active and persistent.  The Scripture clearly states that we are saved by grace through faith.  Most people recognize grace as gift from God.  It's not from us.  But what about faith? I assert that if our salvation is solely achieved by the power of God, which is His grace, our faith should also be completely dependent on God. There is no way that disciples of Christ were able to endure incredible hardships and persecutions with only self-sustained determination and their will power. Verse 7 says, "These trials will show that your faith is genuine." I believe that what Peter meant by "genuine" is faith that comes from God, not from oneself.

            Another noteworthy aspect of faith is its potential to grow and be matured.  Faith is active and the source of strength for any actions. In the given passage, it says, "It [faith] is being tested as fire test and purifies gold." Gold must be tested with intense fire for an extensive amount of time to become pure gold.  In a similar way, I believe that God allows us to go through trials and hardships for our faith to be refined and built so that we may reflect the light and glory of God in this world.

            Lastly, this passage delineates the Christian faith in verse 8 and 9; Having faith means loving him even though you have never seen him and trusting him though you do not see him now.  Ultimately, the manifestation of faith is the joy and expectation of God's salvation of eternity in spite of trials and tribulations that we have to face because of our faith in Christ.

            The most eye-opening revelation through this Scripture was God's sovereignty over our victories and struggles. God starts His saving work in us by giving us faith in the Son of God.  Then He allows hardships to cultivate our faith and to glorify Him.  Finally, He grants the infinite gift of salvation to those who proved their genuine faith in their lives.  I love this incredible involvement of God in His people to deliver them from the path of death and to use them as the special utensils for His Kingdom and His glory.

            Father, I thank you for giving me faith in you.  I also thank you for being faithful to me when I acted according to my faith.  There have been numerous occasions that assured my faith and challenged it to grow.  I want to praise you for giving me not only this most precious gift but also opportunities to refine and strengthen it.  Even though I still have many questions and some doubt about the way the world operates, You have enabled me to overcome them by throwing myself to You and Your cross.  One thing I ask of you is keeping my faith like a child in the midst of the growth and purification process of it.  I want to grow wiser and stronger, but I do not want to be independent on you by being able to depending on myself.  It is the most fearful thing I can ever imagine to happen in my life.  Please keep me humble and help me to acknowledge your grace that I absolutely do not deserve.  You raised me from my spiritual death and have sustained my salvation by Your incredible grace and mercy.  My life is rightfully Yours and let me be Your living and holy sacrifice to You.  Please do whatever You wish to do for Your glory according to the maturity of my faith.  In Your holy and mighty name I pray, Amen.